I Have Been to Many 'Get Rich Quick' Seminars

I am a sucker for a get-rich-quick scheme (2/3)

Jamal came by on the day of our meeting. He knocked on the door, and I let him in.

The person who walked into my living room was a stranger in my friend's body who asked me, "Can any of your knives cut through a Coca-Cola can?"

I felt silly admitting they didn't; what would I do if a recipe called to sprinkle chards of aluminum over harissa chicken?

My friend pulled a soda can out of his man purse, along with the set of knives he was trying to sell me, and cut the can in two.

I thought, "Wow, what have I been doing with my knives all this time!"
I didn't buy a knife from him that day, but I came really close to buying them because I was afraid of saying no to a man with a bag full of knives, which translates to very little sales and a lot of rejection.

A few months later, as a wedding gift, Jamal gave me a utility knife with a simple but elegant engraving, "Felicidades." It has been more than ten years since our wedding, and I still use that knife almost daily. I chuckle every time I split my Pamplemousse La Croix can in two before stuffing it into a rotisserie chicken.

Over the years, I have fallen prey to the get-rich allure of Multi-Level Marketing schemes.

For me, it wasn't so much the door-knocking sales opportunities but the seminars where they teach you all the secrets of the one percent. I am embarrassed to admit that I have been to more than one of those.
I remember the feeling of excitement at the first one I went to.

There I was. Eagerly taking a step towards becoming a millionaire.

It wasn't my first step, either. I read the book of the financial pseudo-celebrity behind the seminar. The books are always different enough to create a brand but similar enough to recognize what they are when they are displayed at bookstores.

"Poor Niece, Rich Aunt; A multimillionaire's Neocortex, The Millionaire on the cul-de-sac, Holey-Moley, our neighbors are rich!"

There I was, a brand new immigrant, newly arrived in California, ready to consume all the information to get me started on the oh-so-American path from rags to riches.

The seminar organizers were prepared to give me even more than I had bargained for—a thumb drive and a tote bag.

"Wow, being rich makes you generous. This is the reason I moved to the States!" I thought.

Thank you for reading the second essay in this series, "I am a sucker for a get-rich-quick scheme." To read the first essay in the series, click here.