The Missing Piece to Your Creative Practice

Incorporating an important step from the Montessori workflow

There is a difference between authoritarian and authoritative communication models.

Authoritarian communication is one established through fear and coercion. If this model had a motto, it would be, "Because I said so."

Authoritative communication depends on an authority that is gentle and established by trust. 

I grew up in an authoritarian environment and culture, and to top it all off, I went to a Catholic school run by a priest who served in the military under General Franco. 

My schooling years were characterized by tucked-in shirts, parted hair, walking in single file lines, and obedience-seeking, barking commands. 

For my daughters, we have gone in a completely different direction. 

Why?

Well, because my wife said, "Because I said so. "

Just kidding. 

My wife introduced me to a different kind of parenting that I never thought was possible. "Wait, you treat kids with respect and give them autonomy? Weird!"

That's how we ended up doing RIE (or Respectful Infant Educaring) for both of our daughters when they were infants and later chose Montessori preschool and elementary. 

The tension between trying to gentle-parent my daughters and suppressing the drive to do things as I learned them in my culture through my upbringing, are an endless source of my parental mistakes and follies.

Also, it is a great source of parental guilt and writing material. (Read here, here, here)

But I believe in the model, and I keep learning from it. 

In the most recent parent-teacher conference I had for my oldest, I learned about the Montessori workflow: choose the material, set up space, work, admire completed work, and tidy the space. 

My guess is that you are like me even if you didn't go to Catholic school. 

We live in a goal-oriented culture. So, like me, you probably do everything in the flow except admire what you do.

Think about it. You are an amazing human being already. You probably do more than you know, have had more experiences than your parents ever did at your age, have access to widgets, technology, and information in a way no one ever had, and have even learned more than millions of people who came before you. 

But because of our fast-paced life, when was the last time you took a beat, took a deep breath, and appreciated what you have done? 

If you write or tell stories, be grateful for the ones you've told. What a gift to the world. What a gift to you! I can't think of a better adult hobby that acts like a creative act, moonlighting as an introspective journey.

Regardless of your upbringing, appreciating your progress or completed work is a small step that can be incorporated into any workflow and can help you slow down, take a beat, and recognize what an amazing human being you are.