Or how simple parenting acts can drive you insane (3/3)
Eventually, my daughter gave in and let us brush her hair. Instead of the five minutes we thought it would take, it took forty-five minutes.
Sure, forty-five minutes is better than sixty minutes, but the fifteen minutes savings came at a cost. Keeping my daughter in the crib without breakfast didn't feel right. I felt like I had committed a crime outlawed by the Geneva Convention.
My wife and I were at our wit's ends, though. Nothing was working; letting her read books while brushing, letting her play while brushing, starving before brushing.
Nothing!
Then I thought of a lesson parents learn early on, โBribe your kids to do the right thing before you go totally bonkers."
The following day, I heard her call for me, "dadda!!" I ran to where I hid my secret weapon before heading into her room. I turned on the light, and when I saw her looking at me, I showed her what I had in my hand.
I was holding a cup of Blueberry Mush. Mush is a cup of overnight oats with enough coconut sugar to teach an old lab rat new tricks. We typically don't like her starting the day with sugary treats, but desperate times call for overpriced snacks.
And it worked!
My daughter held the mush while I brushed her hair. The hair-pulling pain was worth it now that she could touch a tangible and concrete reward.
Once we were done, I took her out to the kitchen, she sat at the table, and I opened her mush. Under the lid was a quote, "Success is not final!"
"Thank you for that wisdom, cup of overpriced oats. I mean, overnight oats."
The oats were right; success is not final.
But now I know all I need to brush my daughter's hair is her pink brush, detangling spray, and another cup of sugary bribe.
Thank you for reading this series on how I overcame the trials of brushing my daughter's hair. I know, I know, it's not negotiating peace in the Middle East but these are my struggles. Read the rest of the essays on the series.
Responses