My Bones Hurt, My Kid Threw Applesauce at Me, and I'm Sitting Down to Write Because of My Mantra

"Dare to suck. Ass in chair."

It is my writing mantra and has nothing to do with sex advice. 

It is my writing mantra, and it is a combination of two lessons I learned in two writing masterclasses.

But why do I need my mantra today?

My bones hurt, I have a splitting headache, and I'm pretty sure my will and resilience have taken their last breaths.

Why do I feel this way? Did I party last night? Did I finally try Molly? Or am I in the last stages of yet another lethal virus?

No.

I have kids.

If you laughed, you have kids. If you didn't, check on your friends who have kids — we are not okay.

Also, you have freewheeling freedom. What's that like?

Heeeeenyways……

There are some mornings that just take it all out of you, aren't there?

I remember a morning about a year ago. The sun gently rose and heated my Sonoma County duvet. I gingerly placed a strawberry coconut yogurt on the table next to an applesauce cup and two spoons — one purple and one orange.

My oldest daughter's breakfast would be waiting for her after I helped her get dressed and ready for school.

She took one quick look at the breakfast and said, "I want cereal."

"Sorry, babe. Cereal is for Saturdays."

This is a strict nutritional rule I abide by because I have witnessed the sugar spike from cereal and how it turns her into a wild ball of energy — like a country fair carnival ride. No teacher deserves that.

She melted down and grabbed the applesauce cup in one swift motion and threatened to swing it at my head.

I told her, "I'll be right back. I need a minute."

I closed the door to my room behind me and took five deep breaths. I am committed to gentle parenting.

I re-joined my family, and with my wife's help, we finished the morning routine and got our daughters to school.

Once in front of my computer and needing to write, I felt the weight of that morning landing on me like a bag of concrete mix.

And then I remembered my writing mantra.

"Dare to suck. Ass in chair."

"Dare to suck" was one of the many gems of advice given by Dan Brown in his Masterclass. Brown mentioned how, while doing an article on Metallica, the band's motto was "Dare to suck" — and how he incorporated it into his writing craft.

It dives straight into the heart of artistic resistance. The fear of creating that first, god-awful draft and facing the reality that it is not what we imagined it would be.

The second part — "Ass in Chair" — is advice repeated by many writers, but I most recently heard it from Michael Lewis in his storytelling masterclass.

Regardless of what we are going through, showing up to our practice tells our mind we have discipline beyond the whims of the day. It shows respect for our work.

And sometimes, when we show up and don't feel like it, magic can happen.

Let's be real. Most of the time, it doesn't.

But the mere fact of showing up builds a habit that's ready and waiting for the days when we finally feel creative, productive, and alive again.

"Dare to suck. Ass in chair."

Two lessons. One mantra. It will get you to the page on the days when the only thing you feel like doing is going back to bed, crying, and watching reruns of your favorite show.

For me, that's Friends, Season 9.

What's yours?

Happy telling!

-Carlos

P.S. I just updated my Story Frame cheat sheet — the full structure, the drafting sequence, and a prompt you can paste directly into any writing session. Reply letting me know you want a copy, and I'll send it to you.