In Get Rich Quick Seminars, The Back is for Poor People

I am a sucker for a get-rich-quick scheme (3/3)

There I was, a brand new immigrant, newly arrived in California, ready to consume all the information to get me started on the oh-so-American path from rags to riches.

The seminar organizers were prepared to give me even more than I had bargained for—a thumb drive and a tote bag.

"Wow, being rich makes you generous. This is the reason I moved to the States!" I thought.

I took with me the only person I knew was interested in being rich more than I was, my mom. We took our seats closer to the front. After all, the back is for people who are not ready for overwhelming wealth.

The presentation had no real insider tips.

There was no guy from the book cover.

The seminar was just a hard sale from a guy I had never heard of before who shouted at us, "If you don't buy the next seminar, you are a loser, and you will forever be broke!!!"

I wasn't convinced, but when I saw the first person sign up, I told my mom, "Let's put this on our credit card," which meant her credit card. "It will more than pay for it when we are eating gold caviar in Tahiti with the rest of the family."

Gold caviar is not a thing, but it sounds super fancy and I was finally going to be able to afford fancy!

The seminar wasn't much. It was five hundred dollars, but I didn't have an extra five hundred dollars or a credit card to my name. I had moved to the United States from Colombia, and at 23, I was a nobody to the credit bureaus.

My only credit record at the time was buying a beat-up, gray Nissan Sentra with tinted windows shared by my entire family for the first few years we were here.

I later learned that the car was salvaged from an awful accident and had no airbag, a detail my car dealer forgot to mention when she saddled us up with an "immigrant-exclusive" 30% APR auto loan.

My mom agreed, and we put the seminar on her card. The date for the next workshop was set, and we were going to learn about all the secrets of rich people, handshakes and all.