The Virgin Can Be Scarier Than an Atomic Iguana (3/3) For the celebration of my first communion, my dad took us to the fancy Chinese restaurant, Jardines de Confucio, or Confucius' Garden. My younger sister, Rosy, came with us to celebrate my first wafer-cookie-eating event. When the waiter came...

The Virgin Can Be Scarier Than an Atomic Iguana (2/3) I was under no delusion; the Virgin could still walk into my mom's room and ruin the plans I had for the rest of my life. I was pleased when the Virgin decided not to talk to me all night. When the sun came out, I took a 12-minute nap. I don’...

The Virgin Can Be Scarier Than an Atomic Iguana (1/3) I still remember the last time I lost sleep. September 14, 1994. Okay, I made up a date, but I remember the night. It was the night before my first communion.  After six months of memorizing prayers and passages from the Bible, I was finally ...

My mom’s gift of gab convinced me to wear girly roller skates (3/3)   All adults in the city break away for a few hours at noon to head home for lunch. My mom would make it home for lunch, but we lived on the fourth floor of a four-floor building—the exact floor limit to avoid building an elevato...

My mom’s gift of gab convinced me to wear girly roller skates (2/3)   And my mom has "labia" in spades. So, I might've had the discerning power to know that the beef round didn't taste in any way like a burger, but I believed her when she told me that our roller skates were unisex. If anyone even...

My mom’s gift of gab convinced me to wear girly roller skates (1/3) When I was 12, my mom got a pair of roller skates as a gift from a friend who had returned from Miami. The boot was a bright white, two wheels were magenta, and the other two were fuchsia. Rollerblades had been on my list of "Mo...