And I'm doing it again!
Five minutes before my Facebook Live started, I realized I had already gotten myself into my pajamas. So I quickly ran to my closet to get a sweater to look presentable from the waist up.
I sat at my computer. I needed to run the workshop from there because I was showing how to use my cheat sheet.
I opened The Story Frame Facebook page and launched the event (only one person had registered for it), and that's when Facebook let me know I didn't have access to the feature.
I didn't have enough followers.
"Oh, shit!"
I quickly recovered and went to my Instagram, and Instagram let me know I could host an Instagram Live, but I don't have the right streaming software.
I go to Zoom, and Zoom tells me they can stream directly to Instagram, but they need an extra app to connect the two platforms.
"Ah, forget it!"
I decided to go live on Instagram from my phone.
I couldn't place it on the holder I had for it, so I held it the entire time as I was talking. It was shaky at best, a seizure at worst.
I started sweating when I realized that the sweater I had chosen to make me look chic and professional (from the waist up) was fucking sweltering!
At times, while trying to figure out the settings, I panned to the pile of clothes I had lying on the bed that I needed to fold after this workshop.
I ended the call, and I started laughing.
"Oh, man, that was embarrassing!"
I told my wife what had happened, and she laughed at (not with) me.
Lovingly.
But still.
It is okay. It is my defense mechanism, too, to laugh. For me, laughing feels good regardless of what I'm going through.
I have many experiences similar to this one, like when I was in Los Angeles at a comedy club's Open Mic, and when I took the stage, fifteen of the other comics got up and left to smoke weed outside the door. I could hear them laughing and talking to each other while I did my set.
Or when I first started working customer service jobs, I had no idea what the customers were asking because I didn't speak English that well, or how I joined a speech team to argue complex policy debates even though I had an even thicker accent than I have now.
Or when I was killing at a performance, and then I delivered a particularly risqué joke to a masked audience in the middle of the COVID pandemic (with a group of nuns right at the front of the audience) and bombed and heard a vacuum pull all the air out of the room.
Several sayings and quotes power my creative practice, such as, "Everything worth doing is worth doing poorly." Now, there is a corollary to that, too: "Everything worth doing is worth doing while feeling fear, shame or embarrassment."
All new endeavors have similar risks. What is important to ask when trying new things and experiencing setbacks is, "Is this important?"
If something is important to you, you keep showing up.
On Thursday, I will show up again at 8:15 PM Pacific Time. This time, I will host this storytelling workshop on Zoom. Look for my email on Thursday for details. I will be hosting this storytelling workshop every Thursday. The structure will remain the same throughout:
- I will quickly show how I use "The Story Frame" or my storytelling cheat sheet to draft interesting stories in minutes,
- I will guide you through the guide in a writing exercise,
- Finally, I will open the floor to questions or for anyone who wants to share the story they wrote.
When it comes to storytelling, I believe in the power it has to show us the many layers of those around us; it helps us build community and intimate connections at a time when we need them most.
If you have been feeling stuck in your practice, if you have wanted to write your memoir but always find resistance, if you want to have an adult hobby, or if you want to connect with like-minded individuals, then join me for a no-pressure, friendly storytelling workshop.
Look for my email on Thursday for details.
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