You Don't Need an Exceptional Life. You Need to Stop Waiting for One.
Every time I sit down to write, I have to remind myself of something.
I am not a celebrated memoirist with a book deal and a profile in The Paris Review.
I am a Colombian-American sales professional from Petaluma who writes personal essays in the hours really early in the morning before his daughters start calling for him.
And I have spent years comparing my work — and my life — to writers whose circumstances have nothing to do with mine.
There is a particular kind of imposter syndrome that hits memoir writers harder than anyone else. It's not the standard "I'm not good enough" version. It's quieter than that.
It sounds like: my life isn't interesting enough to justify a memoir.
It sounds like: who am I to think anyone would want to read this?
It still surprises me sometimes that people want to read my stories. When they see me on the streets of my hometown after reading a column, they comment on how much they enjoyed my article.
And I think, "But it was just about brushing my daughter's hair. How is that interesting to anyone else?"
Then I remember how, as humans, we enjoy stories that connect us to other humans through a common shared experience.
I still deal with it, and I know many of my writer friends do, too, as well as the people I help.
Over hundreds of stories I have written, I've learned that the only thing that actually defeats it is finishing something.
Not thinking about it. Not planning to finish. Not talking about it at dinner parties.
Finishing.
Holding a complete, polished story in your hands and understanding, maybe for the first time, that the life you've been dismissing as ordinary is the exact material memoir is made of.
The dramatic lives make fine books.
The quiet ones make the stories people actually see themselves in; stories your loved ones see you in.
You don't need an exceptional life to write a memoir. You need a structure that shows you exactly what to write next — and four hours to write it.
The Story Frame Sprint starts March 9th. Four days. One hour each.
You will receive lifetime access to the recordings if you sign up before the invitation comes down this Sunday at 6 pm PST.
Happy telling!
-Carlos
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